Reaching Out
by fkSG
Summary: Bobby recalls dealing with a bomber on a subway and a secret he's trying to hide from.


Reaching Out  
  
Rating: PG-13 (Some Violence)  
  
Thanks to my Beta Emily  
  
Standard disclaimer, I own no one.   
  
Other things: I took a few liberaties. Most of the NYC subways are locked between cars.   
  
The E train which travels Lexington to Queens Plaza  
  
"I see you are better today?" Dr. Skoda asked as he came in.   
  
Bobby seemed far too happy for a man who had been seriously injured only a week and a half before. He was sitting up in the chair next to the hospital bed with a book in his usable hand. His other arm, his left, was in a cast from the forearm to the hand. He was also having trouble holding the book since there was an IV in his right arm. His   
  
broken left leg stuck up slightly while his usable right leg was firmly on the floor. There were several bruises on his face and on the visible parts of his body but most of them had faded to light brown.   
  
"Yes," Bobby said. He smiled. Most people would think Bobby was being warm but Skoda thought otherwise. Bobby was merely friendly so Skoda would think he was being honest and truthful when they had these chats. Skoda read his file. Bobby was eccentric, a little weird and detached due to a traumatic childhood, but that didn't bother   
  
Skoda. He had met eccentric officers before. He didn't have any problems as long as they could function well and do their job.   
  
He was here to make sure Bobby was well enough mentally to go back to work. Although it was expected he would be in the hospital for a few more weeks, Goren seemed optimistic. "I'm hoping to go home soon. They're going to put me in a regular room tomorrow."  
  
"That's good." Skoda nabbed a seat outside the door and pulled it close enough to Bobby so they could chat but not be in his personal space. "I saw your partner on the way in. How's she holding up?"  
  
"Eames has been great. I tell her she doesn't have to visit me, but she's been here everyday, bringing me books-- although I don't really like her taste in fiction."  
  
Skoda sat down. This would now be his third session with Bobby and they were going as well as Skoda expected. Bobby had told him the incident the exact way he wrote a report except he added a flair of emotion on occasion to make their chats more personable or to at least make Skoda think he was being personal. Skoda knew about Bobby's skills at manipulating suspects and believed he was using these same   
  
skills to make Skoda think there was nothing wrong.   
  
"When we last talked, you told me that your suspect told you when and where they planned to detonate the bomb and that you and Eames went to that station to find the bomber?"  
  
"Eames wrote my report," Bobby interrupted. "Exactly the way it happened. I don't know why I have to talk to you."  
  
"Purely procedural, Detective. You've been through a great ordeal. Your captain wants to know if you are fit for duty."   
  
Bobby nodded. Skoda could tell he wasn't buying it.   
  
"We went into the subway station-- Lexington. We didn't want to panic the bomber or the passengers. We were afraid that taking the train out of commission might panic him. They held the subway in the station  
  
and when we got on, they started moving again. It was an express train and it took ten minutes to get from one stop to another."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Eames headed for the front while Bobby headed to the back. He suspected the bomber would go to the back to be away from the conductors.   
  
They would each be going alone with a backup one car behind. Bobby didn't want to spook the guy and he hoped that he would find him and not Eames. Not that he thought Eames didn't have the skills, but he was more experienced. He got the impression from the accomplice that both men were hesitant about doing this. Unlike the time at the Veterans Day parade, Bobby was hoping to reason with this man, more like a kid. The accomplice told him that he was only 20.  
  
Some of the people looked at him suspiciously as he walked though the car, but most kept their heads down. He wondered if he gave off an air of being a cop. He guessed after 9-11 they were used to seeing this so  
  
many times, they didn't know if it was real danger.   
  
Bobby glanced through the final door when he saw him. He was sitting down at the second to last row of seats. About five people were sitting near him. Bobby put his hand up and his backup, disguised in plains clothes, would know he found him and that they would come in if it looked like Bobby was in trouble.   
  
He took a deep breath, opened the door to the car and went in.   
  
The kid was sitting near the end wearing a bulky jacket. Bobby looked around, but never made eye contact. He looked up when Bobby came in and although Bobby wasn't looking at him directly, the kid knew he had been made.  
  
"You ain't getting me!" he screamed, but when he put his hand in his pocket which caused Bobby to stop breathing for a moment, he branished a gun instead.   
  
Bobby breathed a sigh of relief. The kid was still hesitant. The bomber on Veterans Day would have immediately pressed the trigger.   
  
There was panic in the train though. Everyone rushed passed Bobby and ran towards the door. However, there was still five people trapped behind the bomber: Two men and three women.   
  
The people rushing at the door kept Bobby's backup from getting to him. Bobby was on his own for the moment.   
  
"Go slowly!" Bobby yelled. "He isn't going to hurt you, are you Will?"  
  
"How do you know my name?" he asked. He pointed the gun wildly at Bobby. Bobby kept his hands up for proof he wasn't there to hurt him and hoped Will didn't have a trigger happy finger.   
  
"Will, my name is Detective Robert Goren. Your friend Ray was concerned about you. That's why we knew where to find you."  
  
"No way Ray would squeal."  
  
"He didn't," Bobby explained. Ray didn't squeal. He brawled like a baby. "He was worried. He didn't want you to die. Hand me the gun, Will. Don't do this. You're young. You haven't killed anyone yet."  
  
"Too late," Will said, he grabbed one of the women on the benches and opened the door. Wind from the outside blew in. "Looks like we are all going to die."   
  
The woman began screaming and fighting to get away. Bobby used the moment of distraction to knock him outside the door.   
  
------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Bobby took in a deep breath. "Then I pushed him off the train as he set off the bomb."  
  
What happened to the girl?" Skoda said. He watched Bobby's body language as he explained the story. The man never stopped moving.   
  
"I don't know," Bobby said. "The next thing I remember was the force from the explosion pushing me back--"   
  
  
  
Bobby took another deep breath, but this time it was loud and sounded labored. There was something in it that Skoda didn't like. Bobby leaned back in his chair, obviously in pain. The book which Bobby had placed on his lap slid to the floor.  
  
"Are you alright, detective?"  
  
Bobby seemed breathless. "I think I need the nurse." he finally said.  
  
"I'm not ready to sign off on him," Skoda told Deakins. They were meeting in Skoda's office.  
  
"Why? What's wrong?" Deakins asked. Skoda noticed only a small flair of concern. Deakins seemed as concern as most cops when another is injured. Skoda expected greater empathy from Deakins, but it was not even near the concern he got from Eames. Skoda suspected that Deakins was not Bobby's biggest fan.  
  
"He made no mention of the girl and he left it out of his report. That is not a good sign from someone who is usually meticulous."  
  
"Is it possible he can't remember?"   
  
"I don't know. I need to talk to him some more. He stopped at the explosion. If he can't remember what happened afterwards then maybe I'm inclined to think that he was so traumatized that black it out. I have to see if that will affect his judgment. Two or three more sessions should do it, although I recommend long term counseling."  
  
"He won't go for it. He's far too private. Heck, the only reason I know anything personal about him is his record. I don't think he confides in anyone."   
  
"Not even his partner? Alexandra Eames?"  
  
"Probably her more than anyone."  
  
Bobby was back in the bed when Skoda returned. He had an oxygen line on him. He smiled again. "I pulled one of my stitches," he explained, weakly. "Apparently the nurses were not happy I decided to get out of bed without the doctor's permission. They are keeping me in ICU for another two days for punishment," he said, then laughed, then coughed.  
  
"I know," Skoda said. "They told me they were going to tie you to the bed if you didn't sit still, at least those who didn't want to ask you out on a date."   
  
Bobby smiled.  
  
"Do you feel up to talking again?"  
  
"Sure. You need to help people who have worse problems."  
  
"So last time we talked. You said the bomber grabbed a girl and planned to detonate the bomb, but you pushed him off the train. What about the girl?"  
  
Bobby paused. "I ran back but not in time. At least the car was empty."  
  
"Yes, they want to give you a commendation. A lot of people could have gotten killed, but there was only one civilian causality."  
  
Bobby took a deep breath, but did not say anything.  
  
"What was the next thing you remember? After he grabbed the girl and detonated the bomb?"  
  
"Eames."  
  
"Your partner?"  
  
"She was screaming my name."  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Bobby!" there was a pause, then another. "Bobby!"   
  
Bobby felt nothing. No pain, no body, but he could hear the voice of his partner. He opened his eyes a crack. Everything looked sideways. Alex was screaming his name. She wasn't screaming Goren, just Bobby and there was something in her voice that told him, he was in trouble.   
  
But he wasn't-- at least not yet. The moment she screamed Bobby a third time, his body woke up and began screaming in pain so intense that Bobby nearly passed out again. He used all his will not to. Despite that he could feel his body and knew he wasn't paralyzed or dead, every time he moved it hurt like hell, but he had to keep moving. He tried moving his left leg but not only did it appear to be broken, there was something pinning it. His left arm seemed sprained. He was able to move his right hand which he placed over his mouth for moment and tried to remember what happened. The car was nearly pitch black and  
  
smelled like smoke. They must have shut off the power. He was lying against plastic and he heard creaking every time he moved.   
  
"Bobby!" Alex screamed again.  
  
"Eames?" he said, but his voice was a whisper. She couldn't hear him because she kept screaming. The first time Bobby ever heard panic in her voice. There was something wet on his face. He couldn't talk or yell. Instead he took a piece of metal earby and hit it against something hard. It made a bonging sound but it would bring Eames to him. He could see a light from the end of the subway. It was a flashlight. The flashlight moved into the car. Bobby hit the metal harder.   
  
"Bobby?"  
  
Bobby stopped. "Eames?" He paused. "Alex-" He was surprised how hard it was to talk.  
  
"Bobby?" she said. This time she heard him. Her voice was lower. "Bobby, where are you?"  
  
"I'm not sure?" he banged again. "Can you hear--"   
  
The light got stronger, a moment later it was in his face.  
  
"Oh my god," Eames said. She turned from him and screamed. "I found im!" She turned back to Bobby.  
  
"How badly are you hurt?" she asked. She kneeled down beside him.  
  
"I don't know-- left leg is broken-- It's stuck under something. What happened to my backup?"  
  
"It's pretty bad," she said, "but it could have been worse. Everyone in next two cars suffered some injuries, no fatalities. They tried to get to you, but the explosion pushed them back. Is there anyone else in here?"   
  
Eames shone her light around the car. Bobby saw that the car had fallen on its side and he was laying against the subway doors. That's why everything looked sideways. Also, parts of the car were ripped open.   
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"You're very lucky Bobby. Your head and nose are bleeding--"  
  
"My head?" Bobby touched his head with his right hand. It was covered in blood. Eames pulled out a handkerchief and held it to his head. "My chest, everything hurts. I don't think I can move--"  
  
"Just hold on," she said. She grabbed his hand. "Help is on the way."  
  
They were joined by some more flashlights. Three cops and two paramedics. "Jesus," one of them said.  
  
"He's trapped," Eames explained.   
  
"I'll get someone from the fire department," one of the cops said.  
  
"Detective Goren," one of the paramedics said. "My name is Phil, I'm an EMT. Can you tell me what hurts?"  
  
"My head?" he said. Bobby found it was getting harder to breath. "Chest, left leg, arm."  
  
"Okay?" he said. "I'm going to put a neck brace on you. I don't want you to move, okay." Bobby already knew what to do, but he didn't have enough energy to explain he knew all the procedures. He nodded.   
  
"Bobby, he needs you to sit still," Eames said. "They have to get you out and you can't move or I'm gonna make them chop your leg off."  
  
While she was talking, The EMT slipped the neck brace around his neck.  
  
They were joined by two heavy duty flashlights that illuminated most of the broken car. Two of New York's bravest had joined them. They didn't say a word, they immediately began removing the debris from Bobby's leg. The EMT opened up Bobby's shirt and found a mass  
  
of bruises. When he touched one, Bobby flinched.   
  
"Detective Goren? I think you have some broken ribs."   
  
Bobby suddenly felt very tired and his eyes started to shut.  
  
"Detective Goren? I need you to stay with me. You might have a concussion."  
  
Bobby nodded. It was difficult with the brace. His eyes started to shut again and he knew any attempt to stay awake would be futile.  
  
"Detective Goren?"  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When Bobby hadn't talked for a few moments, Skoda went to investigate and found Bobby had fallen asleep. There was no signs of distress and Skoda assumed it had been from exhaustion.   
  
Skoda closed his notebook and headed out the door. He would come back later.  
  
On his way out, he saw Alexandra Eames coming down the hall. Skoda had met her once or twice before. She had a bright smile when she greeted him.  
  
"Hi, Doctor, are you ready to let Bobby free?" she asked.  
  
"Not yet, but we're getting there." Skoda was trying to think of what to say without breaking confidence. "I think a good heart to heart with you might help."  
  
"You think so?" she asked. "You know that Bobby only sometimes confides in me. Most of the time he keeps to himself."  
  
"I know, but I think you may be the only person who can reach him and find out what happened."  
  
A bang woke up Bobby's sleep. For a moment he was back there watching them fall from the subway car.   
  
"Hey?" It was Eames. Bobby opened his eyes. He was still in his hospital bed and the bang had been the thunder outside. He blinked a few times, then pulled himself up slightly.  
  
"Easy," Eames said. She held two of her fingers together. "The nurses are this close to restraining you. You have four broken ribs, a broken leg, arm, a concussion and internal bleeding when they brought you  
  
in. You really shouldn't move until they say so."   
  
"I must have fallen asleep. The last thing I remember was talking to Skoda."  
  
"I saw him in the hallway earlier. He'll be back."  
  
Bobby nodded. "I never finished telling him what happened. Thank you by the way."  
  
"For what?" she asked.  
  
"In the subway, If you hadn't been there," he said and raised his hand to his mouth. "They probably would have cut my leg off."  
  
Eames smiled.  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
When Bobby came to again, he was still in the same situation in the subway car. Eames held Bobby's right arm tighter as he winced in  
  
pain as the firefighters pulled the heavy piece of debris, which was once a subway bench off his left leg.  
  
The paramedic, Phil, remained by Bobby's side and kept an eye on his vitals.   
  
"Easy," he said. Phil thought of Bobby's concussion and he was afraid the pain would cause him to pass out once again. "They almost got it. Stay with me Detective."  
  
The firefighters yanked it one more time and pulled it off. Bobby yelped out. Eames could see his leg, bloody, definitely broken but it did not look seriously fractured. A moment later the paramedics moved in. Eames held on to Bobby's hand as they moved him to a stretcher. His hand almost felt like a vice grip, but Eames did not complain.  
  
"I'll ride with you in the ambulance," Eames said. "I'm not going anywhere."  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"You were the big hero. The press loves you," said Eames.   
  
"That's funny because last year they were ready to crucify me," said Bobby, thinking of the horrible time he had with Nicole and Dr.   
  
Croyden.   
  
"If it wasn't for you it would have been a lot worse. Only that poor girl died."  
  
"Girl?" Bobby said and looked down. Eames moved closer to her partner.   
  
"Bobby, he had a hostage. We found her dead near the bomber. What happened to her? And don't say you don't know. It can work on Skoda or even the Captain, but not me."  
  
Bobby did not respond.  
  
Eames put her arm on his back. "Don't shut down on me, tell me what happened. I'm not going to judge."   
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Most of the people had escaped from the train. The bomber, the girl and Bobby remained at the edge of the car. They were so close to falling.  
  
"Will," Bobby said. "Let her go."   
  
"Nope," he put his hand in his pocket. Bobby used this moment to grab the girl with his left hand and push Will with his right. Will lost his balance but still held on to the girl with his left hand and managed to  
  
keep his right foot on the car.   
  
"Not so easy," Will said. "Looks like we are all going down together. We are almost to Queens Plaza. I bet that there are still a lot of people there." He yanked the girl harder. Bobby nearly let go but the  
  
girl managed to grab his sleeve.   
  
"How many people will die if the bomb goes off in the station?" Will asked.   
  
"Don't do this!" Bobby said desperately.   
  
The girl looked at Bobby with her beautiful brown eyes. She was young, probably in her mid-teens. Suddenly, she scratched Bobby's hand so hard, blood immediately appeared. Bobby didn't expect it and let go of her hand, but she still held onto his sleeve. The girl gave Bobby a knowing glance, and Bobby relayed a confused, desperate look back at her. Then, suddenly, a small smile creped onto her face.  
  
In only a moment, the girl let go of Bobby's sleeve.   
  
Will hadn't expected it. When she fell off the train, she pulled him with her. As he was falling, he put his hand in his pocket.   
  
Bobby was frozen for one second as he watched them be engulfed in flames then he dived into the car for cover.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Bobby looked at his bandaged left him where she had scratched him. "I couldn't save her. She was the hero, not me."  
  
Eames rubbed her partner's back. "You did all you could Bobby. You got Will talking. You kept him from detonating the bomb in a car full of people. You had every intention of saving her. She was a hero, but so were you."  
  
Eames hugged her partner tightly and was glad he didn't pull away. She knew that Bobby had friends and family but no one close enough for him to confide in like he did with her.   
  
Outside the room, Skoda watched the exchange. He pulled out a form and signed off that Detective Robert Goren was ready to return to work. He wasn't how he usually worked, he would see Bobby one more time after this, but he trusted his judgment. 


End file.
